The battle prepares you for greatness. My battle with Cancer…
Cancer
We all have scars
Some scars are visible from external wars fought either for your country or for your families. Some scars are able to be seen by the naked eye but they have forever engraved a mark on our souls. These scars have made us stronger. Some battles have built capacity in us through which we have grown in faith, endurance and character. Soldiers proudly wear their scars as a sign that they have fought against their enemies and regardless of the outcome they are victorious just for taking that step of BRAVERY for their country.
My name is Melissa Titus. I am a 32 year old mom of 3 beautiful kids aged 13, 10 and 4. My family know me as the vibrant, full of energy and passionate sibling always reaching out for others through prayer and community involvement. If there was ever a need for encouragement...I was there! Always strong, active and able to support. In October 2016 I had started a new job at an organization that was intently involved in an impoverished community. This was my passion!! Youth! I had many goals for the year… get my drivers license, push myself to greater heights at work, study a variety of courses including bible study etc. In the beginning of Feb 2017 my hard work enabled me to step into a different department in the organisation and I was finally at a place where I was challenged to excel. This joy however was short lived. Let me back track quickly…. In October 2016 I felt a hard lump in my breast which I took to be a gland and pushed aside for the sake of concentrating on my new vocation.
Early Feb 2017 I decided to go in for examination. I recall sitting in the waiting room after all tests were completed and hearing a soft whisper which I knew was the Holy Spirit. I heard, “Stand in authority.”I would only discover months later the true meaning of those words. You see, God always sends A SPECIFIC WORD of equipping for each battle. This word (besides all the other promises of God) was sent to girdle my spirit.
We stepped into the doctor’s office very casual and waited. The verdict came. Triple Negative Breast Cancer which is the most aggressive from of breast cancer needing immediate chemo therapy followed by a double mastectomy. Nothing quite prepares you for the shock nor the process to follow. Being strong in my faith I was not paralysed by the results. I declared that I am healed and would trust God throughout the process. Shock always comes afterwards. Yes I cried and cried. Having faced many battles in my life of which not many would survive including a painful divorce, this was one battle that would truly test my faith to the core. Many say that it is not the end and that you make it through. Yes you do. But the impact on your life will forever change you. I always associated “Cancer” with “the pink ribbons, bald heads and weak people.” Now I call it the “Dip, Strip & Rip”. My life took a huge dip, I get stripped of my hair, my strength, my goals, and finally in June 2017 I lost my job. I was ripped from my family having to go in and out of hospital due to mild seizures which appeared during the second phase of the chemo therapy treatment. My kids had to watch me as if I was a baby. When I fainted, they had to be alert and ready to call someone or help me to safety. This happened multiple times a day at one point. Nothing prepares your family for the traumatic experiences faced whilst combating this illness.
Yet... ONE THING kept me from falling apart. I decided that GOD WOULD GET GLORY THROUGHOUT THIS PROCESS! I decided to focus on encouraging others by sharing my journey through Facebook and speaking out at meetings in the hope that families facing any form of battle would continue standing on God’s promises for their lives and trust in Him regardless of what it looked like around them. That they would not let their circumstances stop their praise or stiffen their faith!!
I drew strength from my relationship with the Holy Spirit. If at any time He told me to stop chemo I would. But He didn’t. He told me that I would go through the process as it was building great capacity in me to use me for His Glory. It was like Paul who begged God to take the thorn out of His flesh, but God told him that His grace would be sufficient.
I had to quickly come to a place of surrender or else the bitterness and pain would eat me to the point of severe depression. I surrendered the process to God and confessed with my mouth that I would praise Him through the storm. Whether the Cancer is removed from my body by the doctors… or whether it would be through a miracle…. Whichever processes glorified God the most I would accept. My DECLARATION HOWEVER REMAINED THE SAME…. “I AM HEALED.” The evidence in body does not determine the attitude of my spirit!!
I surrendered all my plans, goals, hopes and life to God! I said “Lord, not my will but your will be done. Direct my footsteps.”
This year I was brought into a place of REST in God. It sounds contradictory because normally your soul is in turmoil throughout a life changing experience… but I commanded my mind, heart and emotions to become subdued to the word of God and take REST in Him who had formed me in my mothers womb and knew the plans He had for me. Plans to prosper… Not to harm. Plans for a HOPE and a future. I am currently finished with chemo therapy and have received my date for the first operation. YET WILL I PRAISE HIM!!! Through it all, the cry of my heart is... “Lord, draw me closer!!! And draw others to you through me!”.
My situation caused my to be passive in my physical state but spiritual state I am “STANDING IN AUTHORITY!”. I continue to speak God’s word over my life… declaring that I am victorious and that I am coming out stronger. I want to encourage you that whatever you might be facing… know that God is busy building capacity within your spirit. TRUST HIM. STAND ON HIS WORD. DRAW CLOSER TO HIM.
You will come out shining and God will use you mightily! God has been faithful throughout my storm.
I have had an operation to remove the Cancer and it has been successful , praise God!… I have received miracle after miracle showing me that God is with me through it all. It is painful but it is worth it!
When you look at the great big beautiful world it is impossible to deny that OUR GOD IS AWESOME , POWERFUL AND IN CONTROL!!! He orchestrates the universe so nothing is by any means too hard for Him!!
Be blessed. Do follow me on Facebook and join my journey.
Yours in battle.
Melissa Titus
